The power of stepping away
A lot of things can trigger anger, in my opinion it’s triggered when our goal or objective is being interrupted. For example, a common problem with couples is communication. Couples can get angry with one another due to the other person not understanding, listening, learning etc – against their goal.
When anger is triggered, one of the hardest things to do is step away, and yet it is one the best things you can do too. Some people may see it was running away or giving in; this isn’t the case. When stepping away (leaving the room, having a walk etc), communicate; “I’m feeling angry and need to step away, I’ll come back and talk once I’ve cooled down and thought things through.”
Easier said than done, and you BOTH have to respect the needed space. The alternative could be a full blown war. If you’re the other person, let them have some space, however ensure a time is set to finish the conversation with less emotion.
Some anger management tips:
1) Think before you speak. Difficult in a highly emotional moment.
2) Once calm, express anger.
3) Get some exercise.
4) Take a time out.
5) Identify possible solutions.
6) Stick to “I” statements, avoid blaming “you” statements.
7) Don’t hold a grudge.
8) Use humour to release tension
9) Practice relaxation skills / meditate
10) Know when to reach out and ask for help.