Modern Love?
“The scary thing about dating is you are either going to marry that person or break up.”
As the Digital Age has grown, using the Internet, apps, emails and texts seems to have replaced good old-fashioned meeting people in person. In my opinion, this has made it easier to “start” the process of a relationship, where an app or a website allows you to chat & meet up with someone who “matches” you. However, this has made it more difficult once people meet – if you’re not practiced in carrying on a conversation or being aware of your own non verbal communication – can be a demoralizing process looking for the right person this way. Don’t get me wrong, meeting people online works well! My point is; we’re not taught body language at school, and for some it’s such a completely foreign language that they can non verbally repel potential partners.
Most of us no longer live in supportive communities with family and close friends immediately close by, which can leave us feeling isolated at times, suffering from low “social capital”. The more we work, the further we travel; it’s becoming harder to create close lasting relationships. Good communication is absolutely essential in any relationship – however there’s a major problem:
The biggest challenge in communication is the perception that it has actually taken place.
Once we meet, fall in love, and decide to spend the rest of our lives with someone, the new challenges begin – one of which includes competing for each other’s attention over devices. I believe devices can be a great time filler, however if a relationship isn’t well connected, it can also be a great escape (some also call this an exit, how to not be present).
My recommendations? Make an agreement that you have screen free time (or family time) during certain times and events. For example; I went out to dinner with my wife the other week – and looking around we saw a number of couples sitting at the same table, looking at their phones and not talking with each other. To me, going out for lunch or dinner is a time to invest in each other – phones shouldn’t be present if you’re going to be. Love to hear your thoughts…
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