The brain treats rejection like physical pain.

Did you know? The brain treats rejection like physical pain.

We all know that rejection hurts, but neuroscience has concluded that it does in fact, literally, hurt. While the brain does not process emotional pain and physical pain identically, the reaction and cascading events are very similar, and a natural chemical (painkiller mu-opioid) is released during both events. For example, when someone feels physical pain, opioids are released in the brain so that the significance of the pain is inhibited. We now know this same experience occurs when an individual feels slighted or rejected by others.

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Phobias can be passed down through DNA

Did you know? Phobias may be memories passed down through generations in DNA, according to new research.

Family Studies Suggest a Genetic Link

If a family member has a phobia, you are at an increased risk for a phobia as well.

In general, relatives of someone with a specific anxiety disorder are most likely to develop the same disorder. In the case of agoraphobia (fear of open spaces), however, first-degree relatives are also at increased risk for panic disorder, indicating a possible genetic link between agoraphobia and panic disorder.

Researchers have found that first-degree relatives of someone suffering from a phobia are approximately three times more likely to develop a phobia.

According to the findings, twin studies showed that when one twin has agoraphobia, the second twin has a 39% chance of developing the same phobia. When one twin has a specific phobia, the second twin has a 30% chance of also developing a specific phobia. This is much higher than the 10% chance of developing an anxiety disorder found in the general population.


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Romantic Love is Indistinguishable from OCD

Did you know? Romantic love is biochemically indistinguishable from having a severe obsessive compulsive disorder.

The discovery that, biochemically, romantic love may be indistinguishable from having severe obsessive-compulsive disorder has won Donatella Marazziti an Ig Nobel prize for chemistry.

Marazziti and colleagues from the University of Pisa and University of California San Diego won the award for their paper in Psychological Medicine, entitled: “Alteration of the platelet serotonin transporter in romantic love.”

Marazziti told New Scientist: “It’s often said that when you’re in love, you’re a little bit crazy. That may be true.”


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What I learned from a dry month and eating well..

4 weeks alcohol free and eating well resulted in feeling better, losing 3.2kg and 2.5cm from my waist.

Here’s what I learned about from January:

1) Just 2 nights of “celebrating” (eg having drinks, dinner / lunch out, chippies) can undo a lot of good work – however – if they don’t happen very often the body is keen to bounce back quickly.

2) The older you get, the more you HAVE to pay attention to how much you move and what you eat.

3) Listen to your body, not your self talk / excuses. I think people confuse these things and come up with justifications rather than valid reasons. Make time to move.

4) Being 47 years old, I know my metabolism isn’t quite what it used to be! First time, acknowledging this. Second is doing something about it. It’s not dead, just needs more respect. It’s certainly humming happier without meat in my diet.

5) It’s been frustrating not only getting Covid during January, but also seriously injuring my arm to the point that I can’t do any of my normal workouts. If you get an injury, get professional help asap so you a) don’t make yourself worse or b) make it an excuse.

January has taught me that moderation is now my friend. I’m still drinking, that’s for sure! Just less occasions 😃

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The best time to buy, is when you can

As a real estate agent, one of the most comment questions I’m asked is about the property market. People want to know what’s happening in the market, and it makes sense to ask an expert in that area – someone who literally spends pretty much all of their time dealing with the market, stats, appraisals etc.

However when talking to buyers about the market it’s different. “Oh no, my hairdresser told me interest rates were going to double in the next 12 months’, or “My uncle said to wait until the market bottomed out before buying, will save $10,000’s”. As an agent, it makes sense to listen to an expert, and not some Facebook forum or doom and gloom journalist.

My advise to buyers is this: “The best time to buy, is when you can.”

If you wait to buy (when you can genuinely purchase right now – as I know some people aren’t in the right position yet), you may find yourself priced out of the market again soon. Personally I think the market has gone pretty much as low as it’s going to, and I believe in the 2nd half of this year it’s going to start recovering.

Don’t listen to poor advise. Listen to the people who live and breathe real estate and have a finger on the pulse of the market.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions! (021) 411-117 or

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How to Add 7 Years To Your Life

Some people brag about spending millions of dollars on drugs and technology to extend their life – despite little evidence that those efforts work. Us? We prefer something simpler, cheaper, and more effective.

It turns out, a little more time in the friend zone is what you need if you want to live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are associated with living up to 7 years longer.

You want our advice? Go call, text, or email a friend now. Set a time to grab a coffee or a meal, or just go for a walk or do a workout. The time together might help you live longer, and those relationships will make the days you spend more enjoyable.

Source: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “The Pump Daily” and Plos Medicine.

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My Lessons from 2022

My Lessons from 2022

1) Mindset & energy.

Taking care of my mindset and energy has been challenging this year, however essential! Knowing that we can’t change our circumstances, however we can change what we do about them. Mindset.

Also dressing from tomorrow’s success, rather than today’s mood; sometimes you just feel blah, however I try to dress like I’m likely to run into someone I know (as I probably will!). Suit or gym gear; look your best.

Movement and exercise are also essential; it’s part of my mental recharge, can’t state enough the overall health benefits – mental and physical. No time for exercise? Get up earlier, or miss that 1 Netflix episode 😉

2) Change.

If we don’t change, we become obsolete. We have to continuously tweak our plans, however stay focused on the goal. We’ve had to fundamentally change how we do business – without that tweak we’d have already been left behind.

3) Family.

There’s been some health scares around us this year; it’s a great reminder that we do what we do for ourselves and our families – not despite them. Make time for yourself (gym, hobbies etc), however ensure you invest a good chunk of your time with family; experience new things, play games. Go on holidays, or just have movie nights. Whatever works for you.

Those are my take aways this year!

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Why you can’t argue with a conspiracy theorist

“Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you have two ideas that conflict with each other. You don’t like the feeling, so you’ll try to get rid of the dissonance. There are two main ways you can do that: change your belief, or deny one of the ideas.”

When forced, people will change their beliefs. In a study, people were forced to defend an opinion that they didn’t believe in. The result was that people tended to change their beliefs to fit the new idea.

The best way to change a belief is to get someone to commit to something very small. When not forced, people dig in – the tendency is to deny the new information instead of changing your belief to fit. Don’t spend a lot of time trying to change someone’s ingrained beliefs, as if uncertain, people will argue harder.

If people are given evidence that their belief is not logical, or tenable, or a good choice (for example, conspiracy theories), this may backfire and make them dig in even harder.

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Smile – Even When You Don’t Mean It

Sometimes it’s best to throw on a smile, even when you’re not feeling it.

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy says; “Our bodies change our minds, our minds change our behaviour and our behaviour changes our outcomes.” Body language affects how others see us as well as how we see and feel about ourselves, such as standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain. Following this, smiling – even when you’re not feeling happy – can lift your mood. How we hold ourselves can even affect our memory: studies have revealed that folding arms and legs while sitting in a lecture theatre can reduce recall of the information by up to 40% – another good reason to avoid folding your arms.

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
– George Carlin

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Take Charge of Your Life

Take charge. Take charge of your life – and in particular – your personal and professional development. Investing in yourself always pays the highest interest.

Taking charge of your own growth will help you identify and pursue more opportunities, improve your own self worth, and create a happier more confident you in YOUR own image – not someone else’s.

I’m my opinion you’re either growing or dying – and staying still or stagnant isn’t growing! Congratulations if you’ve found something you love for work! Identify what makes you happy (I mean literally write it down) as so many people put conditions on their happiness (eg I’ll be so happy when I….).

When I was in a rut, learning and growing got me out of it, helped me to continuously evolve and keep growing. Always learning. So if you find yourself in a rut, go take those flight or motor cycle lessons, horseback riding or take that online course on interior design.

It’ll help, and it’ll bring growth 🙏

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